birthday boy

[thedreamthief]

It's a quiet night, all things considered. Ronan wouldn't even call it a fucking party so much as more or less a typical night at Hywel, albeit one where they're all miraculously there at the same time. Blue's even stayed, grinning along with Noah as they brought in the birthday pie -- Noah had insisted on a cake but apparently Blue has some friend who makes a mean pecan pie -- and then curling herself up on the couch next to Adam.

They'd turned on the TV but hand't really watching much of it, spending most of the time talking as Ronan nursed a beer or two and Adam tried not to acknowledge the reason behind the whole evening.

Not that they really let him forget it. Especially not Noah.

It's well past midnight when Adam starts to drift. The TV's still on and Noah and Blue are in a heated discussion about the evolution of alternative rock when Ronan reaches over to curl his hand lightly around Adam's wrist.

"Alright, losers, me and birthday boy are heading to bed," he says, the arch of his eyebrow brooking no argument.

Noah looks between the two of them, his grin widening and Blue only rolls her eyes, but neither of them try to stop him. Ronan ignores any further comment from both of them, tipping his head back to finish off his beer before setting the empty bottle on the table and dragging Adam to his feet.

"No argument from you either," he adds, his voice low and for Adam only as he steers him toward the bedroom.

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[thedreamthief]

"Fuck," Ronan groans, his whole body shuddering, teeth catching on the hook of Adam's shoulder before he gets himself under control.

He doesn't even know where to begin with something like that, trust and control handed over so freely. It's a gift from anyone, but from Adam in particular...

Catching his breath, Ronan holds his weight on one arm, the fingers of his other hand still pushing slow and deep into Adam's body, stretching him. Ronan's eyes wander over the stretch of Adam's back, muscles shifting in the dim light all the way down to the trip dip of his waist. He bends slightly, dropping his lips to kiss down his spine awhile before he pulls up to reach for the condom he'd set aside.

"We should get tested sometime," Ronan says, fumbling with the packet one-handed. "If you want it, I mean."

[incognoscibilis]

It takes Adam a second to comprehend what Ronan means and then the implication hits him, pulls the breath from him. "I'll do it," he says. Their chances of anything are low but he doesn't care. They both want, need that certainty the way they need certainty in so many parts of their lives because of how it's been denied them.

"Next time," he says and there's a sureness in it because once they know, they'll know for sure. "There hasn't been anyone else since you." He knows too that Ronan won't have anyone else either, not anymore. And the thought of going without, of skin against flesh, makes him ache.

God he wants Ronan right now.

[thedreamthief]

Some part of Ronan isn't expecting Adam to agree so readily. Not because he thinks Adam has anything to hide, but because it means an even more profound level of trust. It means facing some of the things Ronan's done, some of the choices he's made, not knowing what the end result might be. He's never been inside anyone but Adam, has never had anyone else inside him and every time they've had condoms.

But who fuck knows what diseases Kavinsky has in his mouth alone.

The agreement is heady, the idea behind it even more overwhelming and Ronan nods jerkily, nerves buzzing as he grapples with the condom, finally fitting it over his length and then shifting again, this time kneeling fully between Adam's spread legs.

"Next time," he agrees, leaning forward to support his weight on one arm and reaching down with the other to tilt Adam's hips upward. Licking his lips, he lets go only to guide himself down the crack of Adam's ass and then back up again, slow and teasing, the tip catching almost playfully at his rim. "It's only ever been you," he says, hoping Adam will know what he means -- the sex and everything else that comes with it. Grantaire had been about release, Kavinsky had been a fight.

And Adam's... Adam is everything.

[incognoscibilis]

It's a profound gift and responsibility to be the one that Ronan Lynch loves. The only one. Adam knows that down to the marrow and understands it because Ronan's the person who made Adam believe he was capable of love.

It's why he can trust Ronan, even in a position that's vulnerable like this. It could be impersonal or mean but Adam knows Ronan well enough to trust in this and in the pleasure that it will bring. Shivering a little, Adam waits. He exhales when he realizes he's holding his breath.

Ronan teases and Adam bites down on a soft whine of a response.

[thedreamthief]

The muscles of Adam's back shift and bunch under tanned skin, his ribs expanding as he breathes, head ducked between his shoulders. He's beautiful like this, willing and trusting and vulnerable and Ronan teases only a little more, relishing the sounds he can get before pressing in.

He still goes slowly, sinking in bit by bit, his body curved over Adam's. "Fuck," he breathes, stilling for only a moment before sliding in the rest of the way, his hips flush against the curve of Adam's ass.

[incognoscibilis]

He can feel Ronan. Above him, against him, inside him. At this angle, it's hard to see Ronan so he closes his eyes, making it so that Adam's whole world is nothing but Ronan Lynch. Scent, hearing, touch. All of it is them and theirs.

"Come on," he says, voice a little ragged. "Come on Ronan."

[thedreamthief]

Ronan doesn't move for a long moment, his heart thudding in his chest and through his blood. Adam breathes beneath him, relaxing bit by bit, his face turned away and back a stretch of gorgeous muscle and tanned skin.

He shudders a breath, willing himself to keep control that nearly unravels at the ragged tone to Adam's voice, half plea and half demand.

"Fuck," Ronan swears again, hips jolting forward before he swallows hard and nods, not that Adam can see it. He curls his hand around Adam's hip again, keeping him tilted up as he slides back, slowing just short of slipping out entirely and then back in again. He starts a slow rhythm, slow and deep, breath punched from his lungs as his head falls forward, Adam's body tight and hot around him, taking him.

[incognoscibilis]

He swears he can feel Ronan's heartbeat, as if their pulses have synced up and they're moving like two halves of the same whole. Somewhere in the way Ronan breathes and speaks, Adam can find his own tone of voice reflected, equally hungry and wracked, in need to feel everything.

Ronan holds his hips, positions him, and Adam finds he's sort of happy to be moved and placed. All he has to do, when they're like this, is follow along and indulge in getting to feel.

So far, it's the best birthday of his life, however meager it is to say.

The movement is slow but every thrust goes deep, claiming him touch by touch. When Ronan pulls nearly out, Adam has to keep from whining, his body tilting up automatically, trying to keep feeling it.

[thedreamthief]

Adam's response is heady, whining softly and tilting his hips up whenever Ronan pulls back too far. They haven't done it this way much at all so far, with Adam on the bottom, spreading his legs to take Ronan inside. And they've never done it like this, back to front. Ronan's always worried there'd be something distancing about it, a lack of intimacy that would make either or both of them feel used and unimportant.

But it's not like that at all. He can feel Adam pressed against him, hip to chest, feel him breathe, feel each tremor in his body when Ronan tilts his hips just right and grinds in deeper.

His lips find the curve of Adam's shoulder again, open-mouthed as he breathes against him, grunting softly. "Shit, you feel good," he murmurs, skin sweaty and heart hammering. "So-- fuck, I can't wait to come inside you."

[incognoscibilis]

Adam arches his back, tries to fit better against Ronan who moves slick above him. There's something so wildly carnal about this and Adam grasps at the sheets, feels his control unraveling. Every desire that Ronan expresses echoes in him and he moans out Ronan's name like it could end the world.

When Ronan moves slick against him, whispers against his skin, Adam can't find the words. He reaches out instead and takes Ronan's hand, sliding it down his own body until he can shakily wrap that hand around his cock. There might be a whispered Please somewhere in there.

[thedreamthief]

Adam grabs the hand Ronan has on his hip, sliding it around, down between Adam's legs. With a groan Ronan's fingers curl easily around Adam's cock, finding him hard and heavy. His breath stutters along with his hips, back curving as he tries to get ahold of himself, forehead to Adam's shoulder.

He stills for a moment, focusing instead on stroking Adam. It's not slick enough and he lets go long enough to lick his palm and take him again. He rolls his hips forward as he does, a groan punched from his lungs, slowly sinking into a rhythm.

[incognoscibilis]

It's a little shameful and a little thrilling, the way Adam can't hold onto his composure when Ronan takes his hand away, even for only a second. His fingers tease around him and away and Adam says Ronan's name with a tight fervor that only settles when he's touching him again.

Not being able to see Ronan makes Adam need him more, makes him almost more expressive. His hips jerk back, letting him rut into Ronan's hand. "Fuck," he says softly. "Ronan. Ronan please."

[thedreamthief]

"Jesus," Ronan groans, already unraveling just at the sound of Adam begging beneath him, the desperation in his voice. He tightens his grip, aching to get Adam there, to hear him come, to feel it.

His lips graze the shell of Adam's right ear, his heart pounding and breath ragged. Adam presses back into him, fucking himself down onto Ronan's dick before rutting into his hand, nearly more in control than Ronan himself. Ronan growls softly as he takes some of it back, changing up the rhythm with a sharp thrust, teeth grazing Adam's ear. "God, I wanna fuck you anywhere you'll let me. Everywhere."

[incognoscibilis]

He does that and all Adam can hear is Ronan, his breath across Adam's skin, the sound of him filling up all his hearing. His movement changes and it's sharp and unexpected and it makes Adam thrash. Tipping his head back, he bumps against Ronan's cheek, encouraging him to bite. To keep talking.

"Everywhere." There's such a delicious possibility in that word and Adam finds himself nodding. His legs twitch beneath him and he can feel it coiling up. He barely has a chance to warn Ronan before he loses it.

[thedreamthief]

Adam writhes and arches, meeting every quick, deep roll of Ronan's hips. Ronan's teeth catch on the delicate shell of Adam's ear, a quick nip as a low growl is ripped from his throat. He can feel Adam throb in his hand he slides his fist up, thumb swiping over the tip, feels the sudden tension all along Adam's back and shoulders a second before muscles contract all around him and hot liquid seeps over his fingers.

"Shit," he breathes, smearing come down Adam's cock, using it as lube to stroke him through it. He keeps his own hips moving though he can do little more than grind forward tight as Adam is around him, his breath ragged and muscles burning.

[incognoscibilis]

Even after he's spent, Adam still jerks against Ronan, caught up in the two of them. His breathing is uneven and harsh and Adam's too pleased and worn to examine it too much. There's so much to dissect about what's transpired in this moment but mostly, all Adam cares is that Ronan is warm against him and he feels good.

"Thank you," he mumbles, closing his eyes and leaning his head against Ronan's shoulder again.

[thedreamthief]

Adam's still moving against him, onto him, as he spills over Ronan's finger and Ronan forces himself to still after a moment, his heart pounding and breath ragged, body curved over Adam's.

"Fuck," he breathes, trembling a little with the effort to not come. He's close, but too worried about hurting Adam now, after he's come. He sucks in another breath and swallows, his breath hot against the back of Adam's neck. "Fuck, I'm close."

[incognoscibilis]

"Do it," Adam rasps. He's not even sure how needy he sounds, how much he wants to feel Ronan completely. Breathing in sharply, he pushes back and finds Ronan's thigh with his hand, fingers digging into his skin, unawar of the marks it'll leave.

"Ronan, I..." he says, not finding the words.

[thedreamthief]

There's an edge to Adam's voice, a desperation that hooks under Ronan's skin just as Adam's fingernails dig into his skin. His hips buck as he starts to lose himself, rutting into the tight heat of Adam's body until he's crashing, throbbing, and collapsing forward, panting as he shudders through the aftershocks.

His mouth is dry, sweat cooling on his skin. He swallows and lets out a quiet, strained sound. "I love you," he says, barely a whisper, the words muffled against the curve of Adam's shoulder. "Fuck. I really fucking love you."

[incognoscibilis]

Adam writhes back, his movements less intense but meant to still keep Ronan feeling good. It's not difficult when his body still wants to match against Ronan's to set them both into a perfect shape.

The words bring him back down to himself and Adam closes his eyes, breathing in as if he can absorb Ronan's voice into a tattoo on his skin. "I love you too," he says, voice still a little raspy, rawer than he knows.

[thedreamthief]

He can barely move for a moment, muscles starting to ache slightly under the strain as his breath comes back to him, heart rate slowing. With a soft groan, Ronan's lips brush Adam's shoulder again and he rocks his hips once more, reaching down between them to carefully to hold tight to the condom as he eases out.

Trembling just a little, he ties it off and tosses it into the trash, then gently curls a hand around Adam's hip. "Here," he says, guiding Adam to roll onto his back, considering for a moment before bending to lick at the faint mess of come on Adam's lower belly.

[incognoscibilis]

Adam lets out a sigh when Ronan pulls out and lets himself fall into the mattress, comfortably boneless. When Ronan moves him, he's pliant, breath still coming in and out rapidly as Ronan kisses and cleans him. He feels knew under Ronan, impossibly good.

"Here," he echoes, beckoning Ronan up to kiss him.

[thedreamthief]

Ronan is thorough, taking his time with licking Adam clean, enjoying the tang of salt on his tongue, the tang of Adam before slowly kissing his way upward over the flat plane of Adam's quivering stomach.

He glance up at Adam's quiet beckoning and then crawls over, draping himself over Adam's prone form as their lips meet. It's a cool touch compared to the heat of Adam's body, sweet compared to the salty, and Ronan lets out a soft, content sigh as he settles.

"Next time I clean you, I want it to be my own come," he says with an almost playful sort of smirk, his nose bumping Adam's. "From between your thighs."

[incognoscibilis]

He lets Ronan settle, curling against him in a way that's become familiar, that lets them sleep. Maybe they will close their eyes and drift off after this, maybe not until later. It doesn't matter too much; the whole night stretches out in front of them as if it might last forever. As if it belongs to them alone.

Listening to Ronan's fantasy makes his skin warm, imagining Ronan, slick against and around him, between his legs. Something about it sounds so rough and instinctive that he can't help nodding along with the idea.

"You planning to do that tonight or wait until morning?"

[thedreamthief]

Ronan replies only with a low, thoughtful hum before giving a single-shouldered shrug. "Might have to surprise you," he says, grinning faintly as he slides his hand up Adam's side and then down again, memorizing every bump and dip of his ribs.

The words brush up against something Ronan hasn't admitted out loud himself, some of the darker things he's thought of, in dreams both asleep and waking. It might be too many revelations for one night though, might be something that crosses too far over a line Adam's only just begun to lower.

"I wouldn't," he clarifies, nervous even now. "Not without you knowing, okay?"