birthday boy

[thedreamthief]

It's a quiet night, all things considered. Ronan wouldn't even call it a fucking party so much as more or less a typical night at Hywel, albeit one where they're all miraculously there at the same time. Blue's even stayed, grinning along with Noah as they brought in the birthday pie -- Noah had insisted on a cake but apparently Blue has some friend who makes a mean pecan pie -- and then curling herself up on the couch next to Adam.

They'd turned on the TV but hand't really watching much of it, spending most of the time talking as Ronan nursed a beer or two and Adam tried not to acknowledge the reason behind the whole evening.

Not that they really let him forget it. Especially not Noah.

It's well past midnight when Adam starts to drift. The TV's still on and Noah and Blue are in a heated discussion about the evolution of alternative rock when Ronan reaches over to curl his hand lightly around Adam's wrist.

"Alright, losers, me and birthday boy are heading to bed," he says, the arch of his eyebrow brooking no argument.

Noah looks between the two of them, his grin widening and Blue only rolls her eyes, but neither of them try to stop him. Ronan ignores any further comment from both of them, tipping his head back to finish off his beer before setting the empty bottle on the table and dragging Adam to his feet.

"No argument from you either," he adds, his voice low and for Adam only as he steers him toward the bedroom.

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[thedreamthief]

Ronan doesn't move for a long moment, his heart thudding in his chest and through his blood. Adam breathes beneath him, relaxing bit by bit, his face turned away and back a stretch of gorgeous muscle and tanned skin.

He shudders a breath, willing himself to keep control that nearly unravels at the ragged tone to Adam's voice, half plea and half demand.

"Fuck," Ronan swears again, hips jolting forward before he swallows hard and nods, not that Adam can see it. He curls his hand around Adam's hip again, keeping him tilted up as he slides back, slowing just short of slipping out entirely and then back in again. He starts a slow rhythm, slow and deep, breath punched from his lungs as his head falls forward, Adam's body tight and hot around him, taking him.

[incognoscibilis]

He swears he can feel Ronan's heartbeat, as if their pulses have synced up and they're moving like two halves of the same whole. Somewhere in the way Ronan breathes and speaks, Adam can find his own tone of voice reflected, equally hungry and wracked, in need to feel everything.

Ronan holds his hips, positions him, and Adam finds he's sort of happy to be moved and placed. All he has to do, when they're like this, is follow along and indulge in getting to feel.

So far, it's the best birthday of his life, however meager it is to say.

The movement is slow but every thrust goes deep, claiming him touch by touch. When Ronan pulls nearly out, Adam has to keep from whining, his body tilting up automatically, trying to keep feeling it.

[thedreamthief]

Adam's response is heady, whining softly and tilting his hips up whenever Ronan pulls back too far. They haven't done it this way much at all so far, with Adam on the bottom, spreading his legs to take Ronan inside. And they've never done it like this, back to front. Ronan's always worried there'd be something distancing about it, a lack of intimacy that would make either or both of them feel used and unimportant.

But it's not like that at all. He can feel Adam pressed against him, hip to chest, feel him breathe, feel each tremor in his body when Ronan tilts his hips just right and grinds in deeper.

His lips find the curve of Adam's shoulder again, open-mouthed as he breathes against him, grunting softly. "Shit, you feel good," he murmurs, skin sweaty and heart hammering. "So-- fuck, I can't wait to come inside you."

[incognoscibilis]

Adam arches his back, tries to fit better against Ronan who moves slick above him. There's something so wildly carnal about this and Adam grasps at the sheets, feels his control unraveling. Every desire that Ronan expresses echoes in him and he moans out Ronan's name like it could end the world.

When Ronan moves slick against him, whispers against his skin, Adam can't find the words. He reaches out instead and takes Ronan's hand, sliding it down his own body until he can shakily wrap that hand around his cock. There might be a whispered Please somewhere in there.

[thedreamthief]

Adam grabs the hand Ronan has on his hip, sliding it around, down between Adam's legs. With a groan Ronan's fingers curl easily around Adam's cock, finding him hard and heavy. His breath stutters along with his hips, back curving as he tries to get ahold of himself, forehead to Adam's shoulder.

He stills for a moment, focusing instead on stroking Adam. It's not slick enough and he lets go long enough to lick his palm and take him again. He rolls his hips forward as he does, a groan punched from his lungs, slowly sinking into a rhythm.

[incognoscibilis]

It's a little shameful and a little thrilling, the way Adam can't hold onto his composure when Ronan takes his hand away, even for only a second. His fingers tease around him and away and Adam says Ronan's name with a tight fervor that only settles when he's touching him again.

Not being able to see Ronan makes Adam need him more, makes him almost more expressive. His hips jerk back, letting him rut into Ronan's hand. "Fuck," he says softly. "Ronan. Ronan please."

[thedreamthief]

"Jesus," Ronan groans, already unraveling just at the sound of Adam begging beneath him, the desperation in his voice. He tightens his grip, aching to get Adam there, to hear him come, to feel it.

His lips graze the shell of Adam's right ear, his heart pounding and breath ragged. Adam presses back into him, fucking himself down onto Ronan's dick before rutting into his hand, nearly more in control than Ronan himself. Ronan growls softly as he takes some of it back, changing up the rhythm with a sharp thrust, teeth grazing Adam's ear. "God, I wanna fuck you anywhere you'll let me. Everywhere."

[incognoscibilis]

He does that and all Adam can hear is Ronan, his breath across Adam's skin, the sound of him filling up all his hearing. His movement changes and it's sharp and unexpected and it makes Adam thrash. Tipping his head back, he bumps against Ronan's cheek, encouraging him to bite. To keep talking.

"Everywhere." There's such a delicious possibility in that word and Adam finds himself nodding. His legs twitch beneath him and he can feel it coiling up. He barely has a chance to warn Ronan before he loses it.

[thedreamthief]

Adam writhes and arches, meeting every quick, deep roll of Ronan's hips. Ronan's teeth catch on the delicate shell of Adam's ear, a quick nip as a low growl is ripped from his throat. He can feel Adam throb in his hand he slides his fist up, thumb swiping over the tip, feels the sudden tension all along Adam's back and shoulders a second before muscles contract all around him and hot liquid seeps over his fingers.

"Shit," he breathes, smearing come down Adam's cock, using it as lube to stroke him through it. He keeps his own hips moving though he can do little more than grind forward tight as Adam is around him, his breath ragged and muscles burning.

[incognoscibilis]

Even after he's spent, Adam still jerks against Ronan, caught up in the two of them. His breathing is uneven and harsh and Adam's too pleased and worn to examine it too much. There's so much to dissect about what's transpired in this moment but mostly, all Adam cares is that Ronan is warm against him and he feels good.

"Thank you," he mumbles, closing his eyes and leaning his head against Ronan's shoulder again.

[thedreamthief]

Adam's still moving against him, onto him, as he spills over Ronan's finger and Ronan forces himself to still after a moment, his heart pounding and breath ragged, body curved over Adam's.

"Fuck," he breathes, trembling a little with the effort to not come. He's close, but too worried about hurting Adam now, after he's come. He sucks in another breath and swallows, his breath hot against the back of Adam's neck. "Fuck, I'm close."

[incognoscibilis]

"Do it," Adam rasps. He's not even sure how needy he sounds, how much he wants to feel Ronan completely. Breathing in sharply, he pushes back and finds Ronan's thigh with his hand, fingers digging into his skin, unawar of the marks it'll leave.

"Ronan, I..." he says, not finding the words.

[thedreamthief]

There's an edge to Adam's voice, a desperation that hooks under Ronan's skin just as Adam's fingernails dig into his skin. His hips buck as he starts to lose himself, rutting into the tight heat of Adam's body until he's crashing, throbbing, and collapsing forward, panting as he shudders through the aftershocks.

His mouth is dry, sweat cooling on his skin. He swallows and lets out a quiet, strained sound. "I love you," he says, barely a whisper, the words muffled against the curve of Adam's shoulder. "Fuck. I really fucking love you."

[incognoscibilis]

Adam writhes back, his movements less intense but meant to still keep Ronan feeling good. It's not difficult when his body still wants to match against Ronan's to set them both into a perfect shape.

The words bring him back down to himself and Adam closes his eyes, breathing in as if he can absorb Ronan's voice into a tattoo on his skin. "I love you too," he says, voice still a little raspy, rawer than he knows.

[thedreamthief]

He can barely move for a moment, muscles starting to ache slightly under the strain as his breath comes back to him, heart rate slowing. With a soft groan, Ronan's lips brush Adam's shoulder again and he rocks his hips once more, reaching down between them to carefully to hold tight to the condom as he eases out.

Trembling just a little, he ties it off and tosses it into the trash, then gently curls a hand around Adam's hip. "Here," he says, guiding Adam to roll onto his back, considering for a moment before bending to lick at the faint mess of come on Adam's lower belly.

[incognoscibilis]

Adam lets out a sigh when Ronan pulls out and lets himself fall into the mattress, comfortably boneless. When Ronan moves him, he's pliant, breath still coming in and out rapidly as Ronan kisses and cleans him. He feels knew under Ronan, impossibly good.

"Here," he echoes, beckoning Ronan up to kiss him.

[thedreamthief]

Ronan is thorough, taking his time with licking Adam clean, enjoying the tang of salt on his tongue, the tang of Adam before slowly kissing his way upward over the flat plane of Adam's quivering stomach.

He glance up at Adam's quiet beckoning and then crawls over, draping himself over Adam's prone form as their lips meet. It's a cool touch compared to the heat of Adam's body, sweet compared to the salty, and Ronan lets out a soft, content sigh as he settles.

"Next time I clean you, I want it to be my own come," he says with an almost playful sort of smirk, his nose bumping Adam's. "From between your thighs."

[incognoscibilis]

He lets Ronan settle, curling against him in a way that's become familiar, that lets them sleep. Maybe they will close their eyes and drift off after this, maybe not until later. It doesn't matter too much; the whole night stretches out in front of them as if it might last forever. As if it belongs to them alone.

Listening to Ronan's fantasy makes his skin warm, imagining Ronan, slick against and around him, between his legs. Something about it sounds so rough and instinctive that he can't help nodding along with the idea.

"You planning to do that tonight or wait until morning?"

[thedreamthief]

Ronan replies only with a low, thoughtful hum before giving a single-shouldered shrug. "Might have to surprise you," he says, grinning faintly as he slides his hand up Adam's side and then down again, memorizing every bump and dip of his ribs.

The words brush up against something Ronan hasn't admitted out loud himself, some of the darker things he's thought of, in dreams both asleep and waking. It might be too many revelations for one night though, might be something that crosses too far over a line Adam's only just begun to lower.

"I wouldn't," he clarifies, nervous even now. "Not without you knowing, okay?"

[incognoscibilis]

Lazily, Adam reaches up to trace the shape of Ronan's face, his cheekbone, jaw, skull. "I trust you," he says again. Their trust is like spider silk, impossibly strong and impossibly fragile, gossamer and beautiful.

"What are you thinking right now?" He can see the shadow flickering over Ronan's face and he knows it well enough to be curious.

[thedreamthief]

Adam's touch is a slow brush that still manages to warm Ronan to his core, fingers grazing along his jaw and cheekbone, up to the shorn hair of his skull.

He lets out a breath, still worried of the words he's about to say, the way Adam might take them.

Swallowing, he keeps his eyes locked on Adam's, watching for even the tiniest tremor of unease as he says, "I've thought about starting when you're still sleeping. Fingering you open and slipping inside. The other way, too. Waking up with you already inside me or your mouth on me."

[incognoscibilis]

He knows when Ronan asks it that it's not something Adam can give in any format. Even as Ronan talks about wanting it from Adam, it feels too much like a violation. They've both been ripped from too fragile sleep by waking nightmares.

"Wake me with kisses," Adam says instead. "Until I can't think of anything but you. I want to wake up to you making me hard for you."

[thedreamthief]

Adam doesn't recoil or so much as go tense in Ronan's arms. It isn't a refusal so much as an alteration and Ronan lets out a breath, blood warming as he nods and leans in close, is breath against Adam's lips.

"Along the back of your neck," he whispers, skating his fingers down Adam's bare side. "Your shoulders, the top of your spine." He presses a kiss then, just a lingering press of lips before he adds, "I won't touch you until I know you're awake and with me. And you can always tell me to stop."

[incognoscibilis]

Adam nods and closes his eyes, enjoying the way it lets him concentrate on Ronan's fingers, his kisses. "You too," he says. "I'll never want to do something that you can't."

Ronan knows that, he thinks, but they've both been denied the permission to just tell someone no without consequence. Being given and being able to give that, instead, feels like a gift too.

"I love you," he says. "And...I'm happy, Ronan."

[thedreamthief]

Ronan's begun to lose track of the number of times Adam's said those words and still every single instance feels like a revelation. His smile is slow, but immediate, the words like a caress as he leans in again for another kiss, slower this time, deeper, as his hand curls warm over Adam's side and he holds him close.

A year ago, he was only dreaming of this. He hasn't brought this to life no matter what he feared at the start. Adam loves him on his own even if Ronan will never understand how or why. Adam loves him and it's better than any fucking dream he's ever had.

"Me, too," he says, still smiling as he presses on last light kiss to the bow of Adam's lips. "Happy birthday."