(no subject)

[thedreamthief]

In the end, Ronan chose a place that wasn't too expensive or too high-class, but one where it also wasn't out of place to dress in something a little nicer than jeans and a tank-top. Even two years out of Aglionby hadn't endeared Ronan to wearing a fucking tie so he didn't quite go that far, but did dress in a nicer pair of slacks and a white buttoned-up shirt that he kept loose up by the neck so he didn't feel he was being strangled.

And a blazer he'd dreamt a few weeks ago, the fabric undefinable but comfortable and sleek.

The dinner was paid for entirely in money he'd earned at Graymark, money he'd tried telling Luke he didn't really need but Luke insisted on giving him. It was more than enough to cover anything he and Adam might want, even when Ronan asked for another round of wine.

"Thought we could go for a walk or something after this," he said, dropping his hands to fidget with the napkin in his lap and trying not to stare at Adam's face in the low light for too long, the cast of shadows across his cheekbones and the purse of his lips. Jesus, when had he turned into such a fucking lovesick asshole? "Or we can just go back to Cabeswater. Or Hywel," he added because that felt important. It was Adam's decision, really. "Everyone else is out at that party, aren't they?"

Comments

[incognoscibilis]

Adam can't help looking at that jacket, at all of Ronan really, but he's especially caught by the sleek fabric that holds to Ronan's form and looks as if it cost thousands of dollars. Even when Ronan conjures from dreamstuff, he always looks expensive and Adam can't stop watching it.

He doesn't comment when Ronan orders more wine, has to admit he sort of likes how it looks on the table between them. They spend so much time together, informal and comfortable, that going on a Date in any capacity feels special. Ronan's chosen well; the restaurant is definitely a step up from what they usually do but not so far up that either of them feel put on a gallows.

It's them and Adam lets Ronan cover the bill, just this once.

"I'd guess so. I know Blue's got friends going." Adam had bowed out this time and isn't sorry that he had.

[thedreamthief]

Blue is still something of a sore spot, but Ronan refuses to let it get to him tonight. It's not as though he and Blue were all that close to begin with, not in his memory, at least. She and Gansey and Noah may remember differently, but that's not his problem.

"So it might be just be the two of us," he says, carving off another bite of his steak as he smiles across the table at Adam. "And Copper. Think she'll mind?"

[incognoscibilis]

"None of the menagerie will mind," Adam says, smirking. He has no idea sometimes how Gansey puts up with it without going insane. Having been to the Gansey mansion, Adam knows that Gansey is used to a well-ordered existence that has no room for multiple cats, rats, and many other furred and feathered companions.

He wants to tell Ronan that they miss him and the empty bedroom is a palpable thing. They want him to find some peace. Adam needs them to be Them again.

But not today. Today's about them, not the collective. He thinks he gets to be selfish.

[thedreamthief]

It honestly wasn't much of a menagerie now that Ronan had left and taken most of the animals to Cabeswater with him, but Copper stayed with Adam, of course. And the rats and the cat with Noah. Ronan had even taken the snake which stayed in a huge glass aquarium Ronan had set up in what was, at one time, supposed to be Gansey's room.

"We could watch a movie or something," he added even though he had no idea what they would watch. "Fuck, I don't know," he added with a quiet, strangely self-conscious laugh. "What the shit do people do for dates, man? We've never really done this."

[incognoscibilis]

He laughs too and reaches out, squeezing Ronan's hand. It's so much of what they do anyway, except that today is special. Not because of the date but because it's them, on a Date. Even if they do something mundane, there's still that little veneer over it that makes it extra good, just for them.

"Hell if I know, but...that sounds good, honestly," he says. It sounds normal and stable and comfortable, all things they've lacked.

[thedreamthief]

There's always something special in Adam's laugh, in the way his face relaxes when a smile sneaks up on him. The sight of it is more common here in Darrow than it'd ever been back in Henrietta, but it still feels like something of a novelty at times, especially when it's shook into existence by something Ronan's done.

"It sounds like what we do most Saturday nights," he points out, though he gets what Adam means in some sense as he twists his wrist just a bit, catching the drag of Adam's fingers in a squeeze.

[incognoscibilis]

Adam shrugs. If it's what they want then why not do it? He tightens the hook of his fingers in reply, letting the connection hold between them. "But it's Tuesday," he says, as if that's the part that makes the difference. This time, it's just for them. There are no absurd chocolates playing havoc with their desires. Just them, just what they want.

[thedreamthief]

"It's Tuesday," Ronan agrees though they both know it's no ordinary Tuesday. That makes a difference.

He gives Adam's pinky a little tug before letting go to take another bite of his food, smirking as he chews. He spares only a thought to wondering what sort of shit Magnus has planned for his partygoers before deciding he doesn't care. He's not there to suffer for a reason.

"Let's go back to Hywel," he says, reaching for his wine glass again.

[incognoscibilis]

"It's a good Tuesday," Adam says. "And we'll probably have the place to ourselves most of the night." They've all paired off, one way or another for the night it seems, but he doesn't bring that up. It's another 'for later' when they're not having a night that's all theirs.

[thedreamthief]

He takes a sip of the wine and tries to tell himself it doesn't feel weird as hell. The taste isn't too bad, really, but he feels like he's trying to pretend to be some Aglionby asshole or, worse, Declan.

"And maybe we'll fuck off into your room early anyway," he says, setting his glass down. "Or mine, I guess. Does it still count as mine?"

[incognoscibilis]

Adam's expression softens then, goes almost sad for how much he's trying to make this about them he can't help but think of the other people who love Ronan. "It's always been your room," Adam says, as firmly as he can. "I'm not the only one who misses you being there."

Gansey does, of course, definitely Noah. He'd hurt Blue but he was still a part of their whole. He reaches out and takes Ronan's hand again.

"It's still your home too, you know."

[thedreamthief]

And just like that, Ronan had managed to kill the mood.

His lips twisted into a frown as he looked down at where Adam had curled his fingers over Ronan's. "You're the only one who bothers to visit," he pointed out with a shrug, giving Adam's hand a squeeze before slipping his own away, reaching for the napkin on his lap. "Not like it matters anyway, does it? We all knew this was gonna happen eventually. You were all gonna leave Henrietta whether or not we found Glendower."

[incognoscibilis]

Adam sighs and withdraws his own hand. "They don't think they're welcome," he says. Or maybe they think Ronan just needs more time. Adam doesn't know and as much as he wants Ronan to come back home and for things to be as they were, there are so many reasons that make it beyond his ability to fix.

"It's not..." Adam chews his lip.

"I was always going to leave Henrietta," he admits. "But I never had anything to go back to." Not Gansey, who'd seemed to be ever-transient and not Blue, who'd seemed to hate him for a while. But Ronan?

[thedreamthief]

Again, it wasn't anything Ronan didn't already know.

He glanced down at his food, his stomach twisting around what he'd already consumed as his appetite began to wane. "I thought maybe it'd be different here, that's all," he said then, grabbing his fork, but making no move to take another bite.

Because no, Adam had no reason to ever return to Henrietta, Ronan knew that. He'd always known that. Gansey would've left too once Glendower was found, once he'd asked his favor and gotten whatever he wanted from the whole thing. And Blue had been nearly as eager to get out as Adam.

The only one who would've stayed at all was Noah and only because he had no other choice.

He shrugged then and took a breath, tried to remind himself that tonight wasn't about anyone but himself and Adam and, moreover, about their existence in this place, not in Henrietta. Maybe Adam didn't have a choice about leaving here, but so far, despite everything Ronan had done to try to fuck it up, Adam had chosen to stay by his side. "Whatever, it doesn't matter," he said, trying for a smile, strained as it was, before taking another bite of his steak.

[incognoscibilis]

"Things are different. But it's not because of Darrow," Adam says. He turns his plate in a slow circle as he thinks about what he means, how he wants to say it. "I never had a reason to come back to Virginia." When he emphasizes the past tense, his eyes flick up and he looks Ronan in the eyes, making it clear that he's the reason, the one he'd return to.

Loving Ronan had taught him the duality of Henrietta. It made cruel people and sad, hopeless ones but it also made Ronan. It made a boy who could dream things and people without end. It had made Ronan and for that, Adam couldn't hate Henrietta.

"You're a reason to come back," he says, not buying Ronan's attempt at brushing it off. "It matters."

[thedreamthief]

Ronan glanced up at the surety in Adam's tone, found hazel eyes locked on his own as he slowly chewed his piece of steak. The others had told him that he and Adam found each other back home too, that this relationship they had wasn't only because of Darrow.

Still, Ronan had wondered sometimes. None of them had memories past Aglionby; for all any of them knew, Adam did leave Henrietta, and never came back.

But that wasn't what Ronan wanted to think about right now.

"Gansey showed up about a month ago. Didn't stay long. I think Kavinsky's shown his face in Cabeswater more than any of them." He paused then, taking another breath before rubbing a hand over his face. "It really doesn't matter. Tonight isn't supposed to be about anyone but us."

[incognoscibilis]

"Which face," Adam asks, unable to help himself, to fall back on the format of an old and crude joke. He shakes his head and reaches out for Ronan again. He's right. Tomorrow, Adam might bring it up again, the fact that he's still welcome in his own home and with his made family, but that can wait.

Tonight is theirs.

He lets go so he can finish his food but hooks his ankle around Ronan's under the table to make up for it.

[thedreamthief]

Ronan managed a smirk at that, relieved by the familiar jibe and the fact that at least one person in this fucked up city could still see Kavinsky for the shitbag that he was. And further relieved when Adam doesn't press the point, seemingly just as content to drop the subject as Ronan.

He let a comfortable quiet slide over them as Adam's foot nudged his under the table, taking another bite of his steak before reaching for his wine.

"So tell me more about how much you fucking hate economics," he said with a faint smirk.

[incognoscibilis]

"Christ, Ronan, we're supposed to be having a good time," Adam says. Economics is a boring topic, even for its most determined student. "You don't what to know about my classes."

Mostly, he wants to think about Ronan's hands, strong and clever, as he talks, the way his eyes fix on him and don't look away. The things about Ronan he loves.

"Ask me about something you actually want to hear about."

[thedreamthief]

"Never said I want to hear about economics," Ronan insisted, smirking a bit at Adam's reaction all the same. "I want to hear about how much you hate it. And fuck you, I like hearing about your shit. I know school means a lot to you, Parrish. I want to know what interests you."

And he meant it. He couldn't identify with wanting to go to college, maybe, couldn't fathom the desire to get some corporate office job, but he knew some aspect of that was important to Adam and that was all that mattered.

[incognoscibilis]

"I don't hate it," Adam says. "It's just boring."

The things that interest him are beneath his aspirations. He may love and understand cars but he waits for the day that repairing a car is a luxurious weekend hobby instead of a money-earning necessity. Someday, he'll come home on the weekend with hours to wile away doing whatever he wants.

Whatever he and Ronan want.

[thedreamthief]

"Isn't it all fucking boring?" Ronan asked, one hand curled carefully around the bowl of his wine glass as he eyed Adam across the table. "What part of it do you actually like?"

Because he knew Adam did. He knew there was more to college than getting out of Henrietta. Otherwise Adam wouldn't still be doing it.

[incognoscibilis]

"I like my professors. My advisor's really smart," Adam says. Sometimes the in-class parts and his own stubborn will to succeed are the only things that keep him from losing his mind sometimes. And Ronan, always Ronan.

He looks up at Ronan, staring intensely at Adam, wineglass in hand, and suddenly chokes back on laughter. "God stop holding your glass like that, you look like a supervillain."

[thedreamthief]

Ronan arched an eyebrow as Adam's face split into a wide smile and he snorted a laugh. He glanced down at his hand and felt his own lips twitch into a near smirk, though he didn't change his position at all.

"Maybe I am a supervillian," he pointed out with a shrug before taking a sip of his wine, grinning across the rim of the glass. Swallowing, he licked his lips. "And you're fucking me, so what does that make you?"

[incognoscibilis]

"Probably not heroic," Adam says. He leans on his hand and raises an eyebrow at Ronan, challenging him. Of course he isn't a supervillain, Adam thinks, because for all his power, Ronan isn't cruel with it.

"What are you going to do with someone so unheroic?"

[thedreamthief]

"Fuck if I know," Ronan replied with a huff of a laugh as he set his glass down and then crossed his arms over the table, leaning a bit to smile at Adam across the table. "Probably marry the loser eventually."

It came out casual, off-hand. Easily to laugh away.

And it would be, he knew. Hell, they weren't even twenty yet, and the past year alone had proven just how quickly things could change. Even now, even after everything, some part of Ronan couldn't help but wonder how long Adam would be willing to put up with him.

[incognoscibilis]

Adam's breath catches and he waits for a punchline that he knows isn't coming. The moment passes and Adam realizes that not only is Ronan serious, so is he.

"Eventually," he agrees, smile soft. It's nice knowing and wanting it. They don't have to act on it now but hanging it up in their future gives a stability to Adam's dreams.

"Doesn't sound too villainous though."

[thedreamthief]

The moment hung between them, quiet and still. Adam didn't laugh it off, but he did look surprised before his lips twitched into a soft smile. And Ronan let out a breath. Maybe things would change again, but for right now, some part of Adam maybe actually liked the idea of spending the rest of his life with Ronan.

"You kidding? Two evil people together?" he replied, grinning more than a little then himself. "We'd destroy the world."

[incognoscibilis]

"Sounds like a lot of work," Adam says, carrying on with the joke but not ignoring the half-proposal. "And we'd have nothing to do after."

He swings their ankles back and forth again and feels lighter than he has all week, buoyed by who they are. What they get to be.

[thedreamthief]

"You don't think we'd come up with something? Where's your imagination, Parrish? We could build a whole fuckin' new world if we wanted."

It did sound like a lot of work, but with Adam at his side, it would be fun too, he thought. And, honestly, he'd just gotten done putting a whole lot of work into the farm so he had some experience there. So long as Adam kept smiling just like that, so long as Adam stayed with him, everything would be fine. Better than fine.