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Feb. 13th, 2017 09:31 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
In the end, Ronan chose a place that wasn't too expensive or too high-class, but one where it also wasn't out of place to dress in something a little nicer than jeans and a tank-top. Even two years out of Aglionby hadn't endeared Ronan to wearing a fucking tie so he didn't quite go that far, but did dress in a nicer pair of slacks and a white buttoned-up shirt that he kept loose up by the neck so he didn't feel he was being strangled.
And a blazer he'd dreamt a few weeks ago, the fabric undefinable but comfortable and sleek.
The dinner was paid for entirely in money he'd earned at Graymark, money he'd tried telling Luke he didn't really need but Luke insisted on giving him. It was more than enough to cover anything he and Adam might want, even when Ronan asked for another round of wine.
"Thought we could go for a walk or something after this," he said, dropping his hands to fidget with the napkin in his lap and trying not to stare at Adam's face in the low light for too long, the cast of shadows across his cheekbones and the purse of his lips. Jesus, when had he turned into such a fucking lovesick asshole? "Or we can just go back to Cabeswater. Or Hywel," he added because that felt important. It was Adam's decision, really. "Everyone else is out at that party, aren't they?"
And a blazer he'd dreamt a few weeks ago, the fabric undefinable but comfortable and sleek.
The dinner was paid for entirely in money he'd earned at Graymark, money he'd tried telling Luke he didn't really need but Luke insisted on giving him. It was more than enough to cover anything he and Adam might want, even when Ronan asked for another round of wine.
"Thought we could go for a walk or something after this," he said, dropping his hands to fidget with the napkin in his lap and trying not to stare at Adam's face in the low light for too long, the cast of shadows across his cheekbones and the purse of his lips. Jesus, when had he turned into such a fucking lovesick asshole? "Or we can just go back to Cabeswater. Or Hywel," he added because that felt important. It was Adam's decision, really. "Everyone else is out at that party, aren't they?"
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Date: 2017-02-14 05:24 am (UTC)He doesn't comment when Ronan orders more wine, has to admit he sort of likes how it looks on the table between them. They spend so much time together, informal and comfortable, that going on a Date in any capacity feels special. Ronan's chosen well; the restaurant is definitely a step up from what they usually do but not so far up that either of them feel put on a gallows.
It's them and Adam lets Ronan cover the bill, just this once.
"I'd guess so. I know Blue's got friends going." Adam had bowed out this time and isn't sorry that he had.
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Date: 2017-02-14 05:44 pm (UTC)"So it might be just be the two of us," he says, carving off another bite of his steak as he smiles across the table at Adam. "And Copper. Think she'll mind?"
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Date: 2017-02-15 07:34 am (UTC)He wants to tell Ronan that they miss him and the empty bedroom is a palpable thing. They want him to find some peace. Adam needs them to be Them again.
But not today. Today's about them, not the collective. He thinks he gets to be selfish.
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Date: 2017-02-15 06:30 pm (UTC)"We could watch a movie or something," he added even though he had no idea what they would watch. "Fuck, I don't know," he added with a quiet, strangely self-conscious laugh. "What the shit do people do for dates, man? We've never really done this."
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Date: 2017-02-16 04:58 am (UTC)"Hell if I know, but...that sounds good, honestly," he says. It sounds normal and stable and comfortable, all things they've lacked.
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Date: 2017-02-16 09:50 pm (UTC)"It sounds like what we do most Saturday nights," he points out, though he gets what Adam means in some sense as he twists his wrist just a bit, catching the drag of Adam's fingers in a squeeze.
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Date: 2017-02-17 07:26 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2017-02-19 05:21 pm (UTC)He gives Adam's pinky a little tug before letting go to take another bite of his food, smirking as he chews. He spares only a thought to wondering what sort of shit Magnus has planned for his partygoers before deciding he doesn't care. He's not there to suffer for a reason.
"Let's go back to Hywel," he says, reaching for his wine glass again.
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Date: 2017-02-20 04:55 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2017-02-21 12:31 am (UTC)"And maybe we'll fuck off into your room early anyway," he says, setting his glass down. "Or mine, I guess. Does it still count as mine?"
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Date: 2017-02-21 03:51 am (UTC)Gansey does, of course, definitely Noah. He'd hurt Blue but he was still a part of their whole. He reaches out and takes Ronan's hand again.
"It's still your home too, you know."
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Date: 2017-02-21 06:00 am (UTC)His lips twisted into a frown as he looked down at where Adam had curled his fingers over Ronan's. "You're the only one who bothers to visit," he pointed out with a shrug, giving Adam's hand a squeeze before slipping his own away, reaching for the napkin on his lap. "Not like it matters anyway, does it? We all knew this was gonna happen eventually. You were all gonna leave Henrietta whether or not we found Glendower."
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Date: 2017-02-21 06:13 am (UTC)"It's not..." Adam chews his lip.
"I was always going to leave Henrietta," he admits. "But I never had anything to go back to." Not Gansey, who'd seemed to be ever-transient and not Blue, who'd seemed to hate him for a while. But Ronan?
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Date: 2017-02-21 07:17 pm (UTC)He glanced down at his food, his stomach twisting around what he'd already consumed as his appetite began to wane. "I thought maybe it'd be different here, that's all," he said then, grabbing his fork, but making no move to take another bite.
Because no, Adam had no reason to ever return to Henrietta, Ronan knew that. He'd always known that. Gansey would've left too once Glendower was found, once he'd asked his favor and gotten whatever he wanted from the whole thing. And Blue had been nearly as eager to get out as Adam.
The only one who would've stayed at all was Noah and only because he had no other choice.
He shrugged then and took a breath, tried to remind himself that tonight wasn't about anyone but himself and Adam and, moreover, about their existence in this place, not in Henrietta. Maybe Adam didn't have a choice about leaving here, but so far, despite everything Ronan had done to try to fuck it up, Adam had chosen to stay by his side. "Whatever, it doesn't matter," he said, trying for a smile, strained as it was, before taking another bite of his steak.
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Date: 2017-02-22 05:12 am (UTC)Loving Ronan had taught him the duality of Henrietta. It made cruel people and sad, hopeless ones but it also made Ronan. It made a boy who could dream things and people without end. It had made Ronan and for that, Adam couldn't hate Henrietta.
"You're a reason to come back," he says, not buying Ronan's attempt at brushing it off. "It matters."
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Date: 2017-02-22 06:47 pm (UTC)Still, Ronan had wondered sometimes. None of them had memories past Aglionby; for all any of them knew, Adam did leave Henrietta, and never came back.
But that wasn't what Ronan wanted to think about right now.
"Gansey showed up about a month ago. Didn't stay long. I think Kavinsky's shown his face in Cabeswater more than any of them." He paused then, taking another breath before rubbing a hand over his face. "It really doesn't matter. Tonight isn't supposed to be about anyone but us."
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Date: 2017-02-22 11:44 pm (UTC)Tonight is theirs.
He lets go so he can finish his food but hooks his ankle around Ronan's under the table to make up for it.
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Date: 2017-02-23 03:37 am (UTC)He let a comfortable quiet slide over them as Adam's foot nudged his under the table, taking another bite of his steak before reaching for his wine.
"So tell me more about how much you fucking hate economics," he said with a faint smirk.
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Date: 2017-02-23 06:47 am (UTC)Mostly, he wants to think about Ronan's hands, strong and clever, as he talks, the way his eyes fix on him and don't look away. The things about Ronan he loves.
"Ask me about something you actually want to hear about."
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Date: 2017-02-23 07:59 pm (UTC)And he meant it. He couldn't identify with wanting to go to college, maybe, couldn't fathom the desire to get some corporate office job, but he knew some aspect of that was important to Adam and that was all that mattered.
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Date: 2017-02-24 03:38 am (UTC)The things that interest him are beneath his aspirations. He may love and understand cars but he waits for the day that repairing a car is a luxurious weekend hobby instead of a money-earning necessity. Someday, he'll come home on the weekend with hours to wile away doing whatever he wants.
Whatever he and Ronan want.
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Date: 2017-02-24 04:08 pm (UTC)Because he knew Adam did. He knew there was more to college than getting out of Henrietta. Otherwise Adam wouldn't still be doing it.
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Date: 2017-02-25 05:50 am (UTC)He looks up at Ronan, staring intensely at Adam, wineglass in hand, and suddenly chokes back on laughter. "God stop holding your glass like that, you look like a supervillain."
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Date: 2017-02-27 03:39 pm (UTC)"Maybe I am a supervillian," he pointed out with a shrug before taking a sip of his wine, grinning across the rim of the glass. Swallowing, he licked his lips. "And you're fucking me, so what does that make you?"
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Date: 2017-03-01 05:01 am (UTC)"What are you going to do with someone so unheroic?"
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Date: 2017-03-01 05:52 am (UTC)It came out casual, off-hand. Easily to laugh away.
And it would be, he knew. Hell, they weren't even twenty yet, and the past year alone had proven just how quickly things could change. Even now, even after everything, some part of Ronan couldn't help but wonder how long Adam would be willing to put up with him.
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Date: 2017-03-02 03:20 am (UTC)"Eventually," he agrees, smile soft. It's nice knowing and wanting it. They don't have to act on it now but hanging it up in their future gives a stability to Adam's dreams.
"Doesn't sound too villainous though."
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Date: 2017-03-02 04:51 pm (UTC)"You kidding? Two evil people together?" he replied, grinning more than a little then himself. "We'd destroy the world."
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Date: 2017-03-03 06:30 am (UTC)He swings their ankles back and forth again and feels lighter than he has all week, buoyed by who they are. What they get to be.
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Date: 2017-03-03 05:31 pm (UTC)It did sound like a lot of work, but with Adam at his side, it would be fun too, he thought. And, honestly, he'd just gotten done putting a whole lot of work into the farm so he had some experience there. So long as Adam kept smiling just like that, so long as Adam stayed with him, everything would be fine. Better than fine.