(no subject)

[thedreamthief]

There's a computer set up in the third spare room, the one Ronan had initially intended to be Gansey's, though Gansey has yet to use it. For now, the room is doubling as Adam's study on the days or nights he comes out to spend time with Ronan while he studies. Like most everything else in the little farmhouse, the computer is a dream thing, with a 24 inch monitor, endless hard drive space, 64 megs of RAM, and a lightening-fast processor.

And internet access of course, despite the fact there isn't a chance any cable company in all of Darrow could hope to wire out in Cabeswater.

For the first time since he dreamt it, it's actually Ronan who's using it, Adam stretched out on the opposite bed with an economics book as Ronan trolls through pages and pages of search results on the Darrow equivalent of Google.

"What are your feelings on alpacas?" he asks idly, squinting at the screen.

Comments

[incognoscibilis]

"Don't they spit?" Adam asks, turning a little so that he doesn't quite look up from his book but makes it clear that Ronan has his attention. Not that it's hard to tear him away; his textbook is so dry and boring that Adam thinks it might catch fire if put in the proximity with anything exciting.

"Or is that llamas?"

They probably both spit and Adam reframes his thoughts, wondering which ones Noah and Blue might enjoy more.

[thedreamthief]

"If you piss 'em off," Ronan replies with a faint grin.

He scrolls down the page further. There are two of them available -- one white and one red, both about four years old, though Ronan has no idea what the lifespan of an alpaca even is. The seller says he's relocating, which is bizarre in itself considering no one in this city can fucking to anywhere, but the asking price isn't much. And even if it was, Ronan could easily afford it.

"There's room for them," he says, thinking of the barn that only really holds Cinnamon, Hercules, and the chickens. And there's plenty of space outside for them to run around under the protection of Cabeswater.

[incognoscibilis]

Adam raises his eyebrows, trying to imagine what they'll do with alpacas. He thinks they're woolly animals so that might make for an interesting project for...one of them. Not Adam, he knows as much about wool and knitting as he does theoretical physics. Probably less.

Closing his book, Adam shifts so that he's properly looking at Ronan. A small part of him wants to tug him over by the waist, just wrap an arm around him, but Ronan is in the midst of an alpaca search. "Show me?"

[thedreamthief]

Ronan shifts in his chair and tilts the monitor so it's better facing Adam on the bed. He clicks from the first picture of the pair of them to the second which shows only the red one, his long neck held high and eyes bright.

"We could donate the wool," he says, frowning a little in thought. He doesn't know all that much about shearing, but he figures that's what the internet is for. He sure as hell has the time to teach himself, maybe watch a few YouTube videos, or whatever the hell they call them here.

Curious, he opens another tab and starts a new search. "They live about fifteen to twenty years," he says, repeating what he finds. "So these ones are still pretty young."

[incognoscibilis]

Adam wonders if they'll be here that long, though he doesn't voice the pessimistic thought. There's something about Ronan's curiosity–bordering on enthusiasm–that excites him. He scoots back on the bed to make room and then scrutinizes the photo. Alpacas, he decides, live in the gray zone between ugly and cute and he's not sure where his opinion falls on that divide.

"Blue could probably use the wool," he says, not even beginning to guess how. Honestly, he doubts Blue knows all that much about refining wool either but he can see it becoming a hat of some kind easy enough. "Keep your head warm."

[thedreamthief]

"Won't it need to be treated first?" Ronan replies, still frowning at the screen, scrolling down to read a little bit more though this particular site doesn't indicate how much space they need or diet. He's vaguely aware of Adam's comment about his head, but his focus is on the screen, brow furrowed in concentration as he reads.

He goes back to his search and clicks a different link.

After a few minutes, he glances back over his shoulder at Adam, eyebrow raised. "Haven't heard any objections."

[incognoscibilis]

Adam is a hick and a country boy but he is not a farmer. The process of converting animal fluff into yarn might as well be alchemy to him, so he shrugs, vaguely smiling. "You'll figure it out." The Barns might have been stocked with dream animals but it had still been a farm and Ronan's still a farm boy.

"I'm not making objections. I don't know a thing about alpacas but I'm not saying not to."

[thedreamthief]

There's a confidence in Adam's tone, a confidence Ronan knows he doesn't deserve, but he's not going to argue it right now. Not when it's making his chest warm and his ears feel hot. Maybe it can be a confidence he'll grow into, a confidence Adam won't have to regret.

So he only nods instead, still considering as he reads through the next page, considers the space there is in Cabeswater, the adjustments he might have to make to house them. It wouldn't be much.

Then he nods, decision made. "I'll go ask tomorrow," he decides, finally sitting back in the chair before glancing over at Adam again, a smile twitching at the corner of his lips. "You name 'em if you want."

[incognoscibilis]

"Betty and Veronica," Adam says, laughing because for all he knows they should really be Bert and Vernon. It doesn't much matter, he thinks. They both know that he managed one good thing with Copper and that's probably about as far as it'll go.

Shaking his head, he makes a surrendering gesture that tells Ronan he has veto power.

"Come here," he says, moving back against the wall so that Ronan's got room.

[thedreamthief]

Ronan huffs a quiet breath of a laugh at that and nods. Betty and Veronica, it is.

His gaze drops to the empty spot beside Adam, his smile turning warmer before he pushes up off the chair and crawls up onto the bed, stealing that spot to sit parallel with Adam, his back resting against the wall. "Still economics?" he asks because he it seems that's about all Adam's taking this semester. At least if his recent complaints are anything to go by.

[incognoscibilis]

"Always economics," Adam says, ignoring the book for Ronan. "I'm good at it." He doesn't voice the but. Admitting he hates it won't change the fact that it's a path that will bring him success. Numbers, money, accounts, prestige will follow if he can get a good job from this degree.

He reaches out for Ronan's hand, just for a point of contact.

[thedreamthief]

"Of fucking course you're good at it," Ronan replies, barely refraining from rolling his eyes. Economics may not come as easily to Adam as other things, mechanical things. But he's good at it by sheer force of will if absolutely nothing else.

Adam reaches for his hand then, fingers curling loosely with Ronan's.

"Will you get to take shit you actually enjoy next semester? Is that how it works?"

[incognoscibilis]

"Yeah, I have room for electives," Adam says, knotting their fingers a little more firmly. It's not a conversation that he thinks anyone's been willing to have with him, despite his obvious disinterest in the movement of money from one hedge fund to another and the attending of parties to congratulate the moving around of yet more money.

Breathing out, he leans against Ronan. "What about you?"

[thedreamthief]

Adam's fingers tighten around his own and Ronan squeezes right back, glancing down to see the contrast of their skin tones, Adam's so much darker than his own even now, forever kissed by the sun despite the winter.

"What about me?" he asks, leaning into Adam, his cheek against the top of Adam's hair. "I've got the barn. The kids." His lips twitch into almost a smile. "Betty and Veronica."

[incognoscibilis]

"The kids," he repeats, laughing a little. Then he thinks of Hercules and laughs again. One of them really is a kid. He doesn't want to let Ronan catch that he's almost missed a joke, if indeed it is one, so he turns his head a little. Ronan can't see his face now but they're still comfortably interlocked.

There's peace in this place. Ronan's capacity to love is unencumbered here. Adam doesn't know which makes him more selfish, the desire for the whole world to see Ronan like this or else to keep it all for himself.

[thedreamthief]

It takes Ronan a second to get the joke and he can't quite hold back rolling his eyes once he does, though his smile remains fond as he stares at the curve of Adam's jaw, the line of it sharp with Adam's face turned away.

Their hands are still interlocked and he gives another light squeeze before bringing Adam's closer, his attention turned to the thick of his knuckles and the long, elegant line of his fingers. The tips are still callused, as are the pads of his palm and Ronan touches each one with his other hand carefully. Quietly says, "Soon as you get your office job somewhere, you'll lose these."

[incognoscibilis]

Adam frowns, inspecting his own hands. He still doesn't see in them what Ronan admires, only sees scars and knobby knuckles and indifferently cut fingernails but he feels the callouses. "It's not like I'm going to stop fixing up my own cars," he says, trying to quash what makes him so uncomfortable with the idea.

"I don't plan on having People for that," he adds, smiling.

[thedreamthief]

"Cars," Ronan echoes, his smirk widening slightly. "As in more than one? How fucking indulgent."

His voice is teasing, said with no malice at all, and he curls his fingers through Adam's once before bringing that hand up to kiss to press his lips to those fingers.

[incognoscibilis]

"I can't drive the same pile of shit forever," Adam says. If he ever ends up back in that Hondayota, not even the grace of God will preserve it the whole way.

Fascinated, he watches Ronan kiss his hand and tries to comprehend that reverence. "They're nothing special, you know," he says, flexing his fingers.

[thedreamthief]

Thing is, Adam could if he'd just let Ronan dream him a car that won't fucking break down. He'd even make it an apparent piece of shit or make it so it'd occasionally fall to pieces just to give Adam something to do. But, despite everything, he knows Adam still wouldn't let him do something like that.

Or at least not yet.

"Maybe not to you," he says with an easy shrug, his own fingers still light over Adam's when he moves them. "To me, though. To Cabeswater. Don't fucking argue, alright?"

[incognoscibilis]

Adam aspires to better but he still takes comfort in the reliable familiarity of machines. Parts fit together and problems can be solved logically. It's a process of obvious and apparent steps that don't require sweetening, number-crunching, or negotiation.

He sighs when Ronan speaks but not out of exasperation. His hands are rough and scarred and Adam thinks that it will never be fully undone no matter how hard he tries. Ronan's touch is gentle enough to savor and Adam closes his eyes.

"Not arguing. I just don't see it."

[thedreamthief]

"Guess you don't really have to," Ronan replies with a shrug, lowering Adam's hand between them as he rests back further against he wall. He keeps their fingers curled together, keeps his hold on Adam even as he tips his head back. "Just let yourself believe that I do. Go from there."

And Ronan's aware enough to realize the same could be said to him about various things. Because he still feels like a monster most of the time, like some product of the Devil. But Adam believes otherwise. Gansey, too. Maybe that's all that really matters in the end.

[incognoscibilis]

"I guess not," Adam agrees. He watches Ronan tilt his head and nuzzles forward, nose against his jaw. "But you never lie, so I guess it must be true."

True to Ronan, at least. Between the two of them, maybe that's all they need.

[thedreamthief]

"Better fucking believe it is," Ronan replies with a faint smile, warmed by the press of Adam so close, the feel of his breath against Ronan's jaw.

He keeps his eyes closed, just soaking in the moment. Soon enough, Adam will peel himself away to continue burying himself in his economics book and Ronan will go back to the computer, maybe look into the alpacas a little more. And then Adam will leave the farmhouse entirely, drive back into the city to stay the night at Hywel with everyone else so he can wake up early for school.

But for now, Ronan will let himself have this. For now, he can pretend this is all there is.

[incognoscibilis]

Ronan holds onto him like an anchor and, for a moment, Adam thinks that maybe he can be. They'll sink through the bed and the floor until the rest in the earth itself and Cabeswater covers them over. Just for a little while.

"Think we can get pizza delivery out here?" he muses. Their lives feel so separate now and Adam doesn't want to leave when things feel so safe, so right.