cow goes moo

[thedreamthief]

While Ronan has long cultivated and enjoyed an outward appearance and style choice meant to intimidate, discomfit, and frighten, he finds that, when it comes to assuring the staff of Darrow's Home for Children that he is, in fact, a responsible adult with no ill intentions, it's not the most appropriate.

Luckily, they have his name on a list in the system and after Ronan reluctantly hands over his ID and, sneering, signs a half a dozen forms, Jack's allowed out with him.

There's a curfew, of course, and he has to promise to keep his fucking cellphone turned on at all times, but it's a small price to pay when he spots the kid and his familiar wide smile. Ronan drives him back to Hywel in the Pig, stopping briefly for a shake at one of those drive-in fast food joints that bring the shit straight out to the car, just because he thinks it might be something Jack would get a kick out of.

Ronan's still working on his when he pulls up to the factory. As far as he knows, it should be empty for a change, unless Gansey's taken a break from his stint at the library. He knows Adam will be at work, and Noah too, probably. He's never sure about Blue, but he hardly sees her anyway so the chances are good she won't be around.

For the best, he thinks. He's not too sure what any one of them would think about Ronan bring a kid home for the afternoon.

"When you get out you gotta slam the door really hard," he tells Jack as he cuts the engine and undoes his belt. "Like, as hard as you can. Got me?"

Comments

[37hours]

My favorite times are when my friends come to Home and pick me up to go on adventures. Every adventure helps me see lots of new things, like when Michelle took me to the boardwalk or Andrea took me to the stables, and it means I get lots of time with my friends which is the best because I know it's hard to get time when it's spread over so many places. Ronan says he's taking me to Hywel which is a place I never been to yet, but he stops at a fast food place first, wow! It's a place where you can park your car and then they bring the food you want out to you, that's really nice and it makes it easy, we don't even have to go inside.

Sometimes going inside is fun but eating in the car is even more fun, I'm a little afraid to make the car dirty so I eat very careful and only when Ronan is not going fast, because I don't want to make a big mess he has to clean up, I don't think Ronan would like me so much if I did that.

Officer Spencer got me a hot dog so this time I ask for the burger to try something new. It's got lots of things in it, like ketchup which is made of tomatoes, and then tomatoes that are cut and not made into ketchup, and lettuce which is green and tastes really fresh, yum.

"This is the best food I ever had," I tell Ronan. The fries are really good too, they're salty and some parts are crunchy and some parts are more soft.

When we stop the car, I look out the window, it's hard to see much because I'm little and the window is pretty high up. "Um, okay, I will push the door as hard as I can. That doesn't hurt the car?" I ask, and I press the button that lets my seat belt go. You gotta wear those when the car is driving to be safe.

[thedreamthief]

There's something about Jack that almost reminds Ronan of Matthew. A Matthew from years ago, though, when they were both young enough to still run through sprinklers and chase fireflies. A Matthew who always looked at the world as a brighter, more awe-inspiring place than Ronan ever could. A Matthew who could convince Ronan he wasn't a freak or a monster, who looked at Ronan like he held the world.

Smirking, Ronan throws a balled up sheet of fast food tinfoil into the backseat and grabs his shake, slamming his own door hard as he rounds the front to meet up with Jack.

"It's good for it," he says, watching Jack's tiny hands curl around the edge. "It's the only way to make the door stick. Just put everything you got into it, slam it hard as you can."

Some part of Ronan actually hopes Gansey is home right now and peeking out the window just to see a five year old kid slamming the door of his precious Camaro.

[37hours]

I watch Ronan throw his trash into the back of the car, it makes me laugh because I think it's a little bit like breaking rules. In Room, I had to throw away all the trash into Trash Can. The Hammock House has lots of trash cans around because it's lots bigger than Room and so if you put more trash cans around then you don't have to walk so much to find one. I don't think a car is supposed to be a trash can because when I'm on the bus to go to School they say we can't throw stuff around, but Ronan's driving this car so I think that means he gets to make the rules.

I look in the back of the car and then I eat the last bite of my burger, my mouth is full and I'm chewing lots but I squeeze the wrapper into a ball and throw it back, too. It's lots of fun. But I take my bag of fries with me because I didn't finish those and I don't want to waste, also I'm too full to eat them all right now but I think they'll be still yum later.

I put the bag carefully on the ground and look at the door, I know it's heavy because I had to push lots to make it open. I lift my arms up and show my muscles. "Okay, I can do this," I tell Ronan. "I exercise lots so I got more Strong."

I show him my Strong by roaring, it makes me feel like my arms have more and I press my feet against the ground so that I don't slip. I push, push, push and it goes, it's going more and more and I have to move my feet to not fall down but then the door makes a loud sound when it closes! And it doesn't bounce back!

"Did I do it?" I ask Ronan, I'm jumping because I'm excited.

[thedreamthief]

Ronan catches a glimpse of Jack throwing his own balled up mess of foil into the backseat and can't help grinning. Either Gansey or Adam will find it back there later and, either way, Ronan's looking forward to the bitching. He can even almost honestly say it wasn't him.

Jack settles his bag on the ground and shows off his muscles and Ronan, smirking, nods his approval as Jack roars.

"Shit, dude. Watch that roar, you're gonna scare the animals," he says, his voice teasing as Jack takes hold of the Pig's passenger door with both hands and shoves. It connects with an almighty slam, and sticks.

"Perfect," Ronan remarks, dropping his hand, palm up for Jack to give him five. "Couldn't have done it better myself. Now get your back and we'll go inside."

Turning, Ronan takes another sip from his shake and finds the key to Hywel. Hercules can be heard the second he opens the door, his little hooves clanging all over the floor, his bleating making one hell of a racket, clearly excited to know someone else is home. "Come on," he says, glancing back over his shoulder at Jack. "I told them all you're coming -- they're pretty excited to meet you."

[37hours]

"Oops, sorry!" I say, covering my mouth fast. I bend down to pick up my bag of fries. "I didn't mean to scare the animals, I just wanted to show my Strong. But I guess animals might be afraid that I want to use my Strong to hurt them, but I would never do that, animals are the best." I've only met dogs and cats and squirrels in Darrow, but all of them are the best and they're all nice. Some cats are less nice but they're never mean.

I give Ronan a high-five, or maybe it's a low-five for him, I'm really happy because he says I closed the door perfect and he said that wasn't going to be easy.

I pick up my backpack too, it has other things like some apples and carrots from the Home because I think maybe some of the animals will like to eat that. I follow close behind Ronan and I hear noises when Ronan opens the door, some of them sound a little scary and then there's a baaaahhhhh sound which makes me laugh because it sounds really cute.

"Do they understand you when you talk? My, my friend Leo's dog Seamus understands only a few things, like he knows how to sit and roll over, but he doesn't understand all the words."

[thedreamthief]

Jack's excitement is almost contagious, his smile wide and bright as he follows Ronan to the door. There's enough energy in him to fuel a fucking jet engine, Ronan's pretty sure.

"These guys don't really understand words too well, but they get emotions," Ronan says as he holds open the door. It's the smell that hits first, the unmistakable scent of fresh hay and animal excrement, though at least the latter isn't too overwhelming. Both Adam and Blue would have a fit if it was so Ronan makes sure to keep it clean; the animals like it better that way, too.

There's a little pathway from the door to the stairs that lead up to the living quarters, a fence made of wood and chicken wire to keep the chickens and Hercules penned in at all times.

And it's Hercules who greets them first, jumping up and down on his little hooves in excitement, tail wagging wildly. "This is Hercules," Ronan says, leading Jack toward the gate a few feet away, but not yet opening it. Jack isn't all that much bigger than the goat and Ronan frowns for a second. "He might try to bowl you right over. How's your Strong doing?"

[37hours]

There's lots of smells when I go in the door! Some of them smell really nice, and some of them smell like farts. I laugh when I smell the fart smells, Ma doesn't like them and I think they're stinky sometimes, but all fart smells mean that somebody farted and I think farts sound kind of funny. I used to let out really big farts and Ma would pretend she couldn't breathe, she's silly.

But there's not that many stinky smells, just some, and they're less stinky than some of my farts. So I walk inside, there's a part on the floor that shows me which way to go. I see lots of chickens, wow! They're fluffy and they look kind of fat, I bet that means they make really big eggs and I love eggs a lot, I wonder if the chickens are okay to share some eggs and if the eggs taste different than eggs from Store.

I almost want to say hi to the chickens, but then I hear stomping — it's a goat! I laugh and go to see the goat because I think it's more happy to see me than the chickens. Ronan doesn't open the gate, he says that the goat might knock me over.

"Hercules is a really good name," I say, I never heard that name before. "Um, my Strong is so good. It's okay, Seamus got excited and knocked me down one time but I know how to fall on my butt so it doesn't hurt. I want to say hi to Hercules!"

[thedreamthief]

Jack's enthusiasm alone is difficult to argue, but Ronan eyes him for a moment longer, eyes narrowed in mock examination as he keeps one hand on the gate. Hercules won't stop bleating, acting more like a dog than a goat as his hooves scrape against the chicken wire, his little tail twitching rapidly.

"Yeah, you showed me those guns outside," he agrees after a moment, grinning. "I believe you."

With a flick of his wrist, he undoes the latch to the gate and swoops in ahead of Jack to block Hercules from making a run for it. He shepherds him with his knees until Jack's stepped in with him then quickly closes the gate behind them.

Hercules is on Jack almost instantly, nosing at his shirt and back, lips twitching as he bites at each bit of fabric like the annoying little shit that he is. "Hey, cut it out," Ronan says, shoving Hercules snout away from Jack's shirt before crouching down to be eye level with them both.

"Now, don't let him bully you," Ronan says, hooking an arm firmly around Hercules's squirming shoulders. "He'll run all over you if you let him."

[37hours]

"Guns?" I ask. I don't think I have any guns, I know I didn't show Ronan any guns. But sometimes words have more meanings, it's not just one. I showed Ronan my arms, so maybe sometimes guns mean arms, but that's really weird because arms and guns are totally different, they don't do the same thing.

Ronan opens the gate then, I go inside because I think the animals are not supposed to be outside, there are lots of human things that they can't touch and stuff. That's like Seamus, he's not allowed on the couch in Hammock House and he's not allowed on our beds, if he does that then we have to tell him no. I don't know why we can't let him on those things except maybe Grandma wants to keep them clean because sometimes Seamus slobbers.

But I just get inside and Hercules is jumping all over me! I'm laughing really loud because he's really cute and his nose tickles me a lot, then Hercules tries to bite my clothes and I almost pat him on the neck but Ronan pulls him away first.

"He's not bullying me, it doesn't hurt," I giggle. "But ewww, my clothes are wet with this slobber. Maybe he's hungry? But my clothes don't taste very good Hercules, I've got better stuff in Backpack if you want to eat."

I almost take off Backpack to unzip her, but then I look at Ronan first. "Um, is it okay for me to open Backpack here and give Hercules a carrot? Can Hercules eat carrots?"

[thedreamthief]

Jack thankfully doesn't seem the least bit nervous or scared by Hercules's enthusiasm, his face lighting up even as Hercules bites at his bag and shirt. He stays standing too, even as Hercules knocks into him, hooves trampling all over the place.

Ronan arches an eyebrow as Jack takes off his backpack, another smile creeping to his lips.

"Yeah, he loves carrots," Ronan says, nodding his approval. "Just be careful he doesn't bite off your fingers when you give it to him." It's honestly more a tease than anything. Hercules might be eager, but his teeth aren't that sharp.

Still crouched, Ronan smooths his hand along Hercules's back as he cocks his head at Jack. "You ever heard of a fainting goat?"

[37hours]

I giggle because Hercules is still really wiggly and I think he wants to smell me and not Ronan, sometimes animals do that because they like to meet somebody new and know whether or not you're safe. People are bigger than animals so that's why animals get scared sometimes, but I think Hercules just looks happy, I'm not that big so I don't think I scare him.

"Um, I gave carrots to a horse before, my friend Andrea took me to the stables. They teached me that if you put the carrot in your hand and you hold it open then they don't bite you, they just get the carrot," I say. I get the carrot out of my backpack and I put it in my hand and my fingers are open, I show Ronan so that he can tell me if that's okay for Hercules too or not.

Then Ronan says that there's goats called fainting goats. I shake my head because I never heard of that before, but I think fainting is bad so maybe that means Hercules is sick? I hope Hercules isn't sick because that would be sad.

[thedreamthief]

The carrot is longer than Jack's tiny hand and it just out from where he holds it in his palm. Ronan smiles, letting out a laugh as he nods in agreement. "Hercules's mouth isn't quite as big a horse's," he points out, finally loosening his hold on said Hercules so he can squirm close enough to effectively snatch the carrot straight from Jack's hand.

"But he obviously doesn't let that hold him back any," he adds with a smirk as most of the carrot drops to the ground as soon as Hercules bites into it.

Rolling his eyes, he picks it up with one hand, nudging Hercules away with the other in the process as he hands it back to Jack. "And the fainting doesn't hurt him. It's just part of his genetic make-up. If he's startled, he freezes up and falls right over. Only last a few seconds and then he's right back on his feet again." It might be a little disturbing for a five year old so Ronan doesn't offer to show him.

[37hours]

I giggle when I see Hercules bite into the carrot, he doesn't hurt my hand at all but the carrot kind of breaks and then it rolls around on the floor. I think animals don't have to worry that much about food being dirty like we do, I don't know why that is except maybe their stomachs are really strong. I know Seamus eats stuff off the floor sometimes, Leo doesn't like that but I don't think Seamus ever got sick from it before. It's just dirty.

"Hercules is like, is like when I get a really big ice cream cone, my mouth's not big enough for it but I want it all anyway," I laugh. I walk a little closer because Ronan's holding Hercules so I don't think Hercules will jump all over me anymore, even if he does it doesn't really hurt so that's okay. Ronan gives me the other part of the carrot again, I put it on my hand the same way like last time.

"Um... what's genetic? I don't think I know that word," I ask Ronan after Hercules picks up the other part of the carrot again. "And startled, I don't know that one either. But he's okay even after he falls down? When I fall down I get ouches, he doesn't get those?"

[thedreamthief]

Jack's description is pretty fucking apt, Ronan thinks. Especially considering the way Hercules is struggling under his arm, desperate to get to what remains of the carrot even as Jack takes the carrot again, balancing it carefully in his tiny palm.

Ronan loosens his hold just a little and Hercules springs forward, biting into the carrot once more and chewing noisily.

"Ugh, genetics are kind of what we're made of," Ronan says, faltering a little. Ronan was never a fan of any of his classes at Aglionby, but he'd liked biology even less than most. "Little bits and pieces from your mom and from your dad and grandma and grandpa. So, for Hercules here, he got some genes to make his horns a little short and his fur grey here and brown down here and then the one gene that makes him faint if something scares him. That's startled, by the way," Ronan adds. "Startled means a little bit scared, but only for a second. And it'd probably hurt him if he feel far enough. Usually he's pretty closer to the ground though and he's got some padding. He hasn't gotten hurt at all from it so far."

[37hours]

Ronan's explaining lots of stuff, so I'm quiet because I want to understand it all.

He says that genetics are the stuff we're made up, and you get it from your family, your Ma and Dad. And that's probably why you get some from Grandma and Grandpa too, because Grandma and Grandpa are Ma's Ma and Dad. I get a little dizzy when I think about it but I like that because it means that I have some parts of my family with me all the time. But I'm a little sad because I don't think Leo's genetics are part of me even though he's in my family.

"So like... my nose looks like Ma's, we both have pointy noses, so that's part of her that I got," I say, touching my nose. I wonder where my hair and eyes came from because they're not the same as Ma's. "And Hercules, his horns and his gray and brown fur, they come from his Ma and Dad, and he faints if something scares him... that's weird, I didn't think getting scared is something you get from your Ma and Dad!"

I walk over, I want to pet Hercules because I don't think it's fun to faint if you get scared, if that happened to me then I would faint a lot. "Can I pet him? I wanna tell him he doesn't have to be afraid, that way he doesn't faint."

[thedreamthief]

Jack's a smart kid and he picks up on the idea quickly, pointing at his nose as he puts the pieces together.

"Exactly like that," Ronan tells him with a grin. He doesn't mention that, technically, Hercules doesn't have a Ma or Dad, that he's here only because Ronan dreamed him. That's not a thing easy to explain at all, much less to a five year old.

Maybe later.

Jack walks closer and Ronan stays crouched, nodding his reply. "You won't scare him," Ronan promises, watching as Jack reaches a careful hand out. "It's mostly sudden loud noises that do it. Or jumping at him when he's not expecting it. He's got his eyes on you though and he knows you're nice."

As if to prove it, Hercules is already sniffing at Jack's hand, doubtlessly looking for more of the carrot before he moves on to sniffing at his shirt and pants, little clumsy body bumping into him like an excitable, hooved puppy. He bounces away a few times before immediately bouncing close again, alternately ducking away from Jack's outstretched hand before barreling right into it once more.

[37hours]

Ronan says I won't scare Hercules, that's good. I think maybe I could scare him if I wanted to, like maybe with yelling and stuff because I think Leo says Seamus gets scared when things are too loud, but I don't want to scare Hercules so I keep myself more quiet. But Hercules is really loud! His feet are hard on the bottom, I think they're called hooves — they're called hooves on horses for sure — and they're so loud when they hit the ground! Like clip clop clip clop, again and again because he's happy and jumping around lots.

I laugh a lot when Hercules sometimes bumps my hand and sometimes goes somewhere else. He's got so much energy, even more than me when I've had lots of ice cream.

"Is he always this excited? He's got lots of energy, maybe all that jumping around is really good exercise, I don't think I can jump around this much," I giggle, but I try to anyway, I jump up and down like Hercules does and my shoes are also loud but not like clip clop loud, more like thump thump loud. "Are the other animals all like Hercules?"

[thedreamthief]

"Not always," Ronan admits with a smirk, watching as Hercules continues to dance around Jack. Jack starts jumping along with him, mimicking his movements and Ronan can't help but laugh a little, reminded yet again of Matthew. "He'll tire out eventually."

Standing up again, Ronan wipes his hands over the thighs of jeans before nodding over toward the chicken coop.

"You wanna meet the hens?" he ask, already turning that way. "They're not as loud and excitable as Hercules here."

The coop is situated in the back north-east corner, a little nook fenced off from Hercules but with a door that opens to the backyard, letting them wander out in the sunshine whenever they'd like. It looks nearly empty from where they are now, but Ronan knows it's only because the girls are either out in the back or hidden in the coop itself, taking advantage of the shade.

[37hours]

"Hee, I guess everybody gets tired sometime," I say to Ronan, I'm still jumping with Hercules and it's lots of fun. Sometimes he butts his head, it doesn't hurt because he doesn't do it very hard, but it's funny when he butts into my tummy. "He's got lots of Strong though! I mean he's the only goat I ever met but I think he's got lots of Strong if you have to hold him sometimes." I giggle, I think if Ronan didn't help then maybe Hercules would make me fall down on my butt already.

When Ronan says there are more animals I can meet, I clap lots. "Yeah! I wanna meet everyone!" I say before I run over next to Ronan. I think Ronan must be a little magical because all the animals like him a lot. I bet Seamus would really like Ronan, even though Seamus is more quiet than Hercules.

Ronan says that the hens are not as loud as Hercules. I think I can hear them a little bit, but yeah, it's really soft and I don't know how to make that kind of sound. It's a little like a cat purr but not really.

"Are they hiding? If they're shy, I can be quiet," I tell Ronan and I reach for his hand.

[thedreamthief]

Hercules lets out a quiet sound that sounds a lot like disapproval when Jack steps away from him, reaching up to slip his small hand into Ronan's. As long as Ronan has worked at keeping people at arm's length, cultivated his scowl and sharp edges, the gesture surprises him. It shouldn't maybe given that he's never pulled any of that with Jack, but it does all the same, makes something in Ronan's chest flood warm as he gives Jack's hand a light squeeze in return.

"A few might be hiding in the coop," he says, leading Jack toward the back corner and using his free hand to unhook the small clasp on the gate keeping Hercules out. "We can peek inside though and see. They won't mind."

He lets go of Jack so he can hold the door and keep Hercules at bay, closing it behind them with a faint click before nodding for Jack to follow him toward the coop. As expected, there are two of them hiding in the shadows -- Helena and Electra as far as he can tell -- and they both trill somewhat grumpily when Ronan pokes his head in.

"Yeah, here we go," he says, motioning for Jack to come over. "In here getting their beauty rest. You wanna say hi?"

[37hours]

Hercules is not so happy anymore because he can't get to us, I feel a little bad so maybe after we see the hens then we can go back so that I can play with Hercules again. I know that we all have to share time but I think Hercules gets more happy than the hens, so maybe that means it's okay for him to have more time.

I'm still learning about how to share time with people and with animals, sometimes it's hard because one thing will make me really happy and that's all I want to do! But we have to share time with everyone, that's important and it makes us more grown-up.

"They're sleeping?" I whisper to Ronan, I get real close so that he can hear me and I don't have to yell, if they're sleeping I don't think they'll like it if I yell. "Um, um I want to see but I don't want to make them sad if they need to rest. Like my Ma had to rest lots at Hammock House so sometimes I would play in another room."

I peek through the window, I think I see the hens in the back. "Hee, they're so fluffy," I say to Ronan and smile. "Like a big poof of feathers."

[thedreamthief]

"They're resting, but I don't think they'll mind too much if you sneak a peek," Ronan tells him, pulling back so Jack can squeeze in further for a better look.

Jack's head doesn't take up nearly as much space as his own and above it, he can see Electra ruffle her feathers in the back and stand up from her little perch. She makes a low clucking sound before walking her way to the door and down the little ramp, out toward them.

"Enough beauty rest for one day, ma'am?" he says to her as her feet pick their way through the hay. She eyes Jack, clearly curious, though she doesn't approach him at all, instead heading straight for the large open back door where the other four are out in the sun. Ronan flashes a smile at Jack and nods for him to follow, blinking against the sun as they step outside. The other hens are all out there, one of them way back by the fence, hidden in the shade, and the other three pecking their way across the hay, swallowing up bits of corn and seed and bread.

"All of these ladies lay eggs," Ronan explains, hunching down then to scoop Grumpy up into his arms. She blinks at him and gives a quiet cluck but doesn't struggle and Ronan gestures for Jack to step closer. "They're not as rambunctious as Hercules, but they're still pretty friendly. You want to pet her?"

[37hours]

I try to be real quiet when I go inside, but I'm happy when I see that the hens aren't sleeping, they're just resting, that means they won't be sad or mad if I wake them up. They're making different kinds of sounds, sometimes it's the soft one like I heard before, and sometimes it's like the cluck cluck that they tell you hens make when you read books. I like both of them but I don't really know what they mean. I think the soft sound is like when they're sleepy and maybe the cluck cluck is when they're more happy.

"The beauty rest is good, they look so pretty," I say to Ronan. Ronan lets me know that I can follow them, so I do, but I'm walking slow because I think the birds I saw in Park got really scared if I walked too fast to them. I know hens are a different kind of bird but I still don't want to make them fly away if I scare them. But when I walk slow the hens don't run away, they're still eating stuff, I look at it real close and there's like corn and seeds and crumbs.

"Do the eggs hatch into chicks? Or are they eggs that we eat?" I ask Ronan, and I laugh when he picks up one of the hens, she looks so soft and comfy in Ronan's arms. "And, and what stuff do they like eating most? And yeah! I want to pet her, um, if you think she likes it."

I touch the hen really gently, her feathers are slippery and soft and they tickle a little bit. I saw lots of feathers on the ground so I think feathers probably fall out like hair does sometimes, I didn't feel my hair falling out but we had to sweep in Room and the sweeping always had lots of hair, mine and Ma's.

[thedreamthief]

Grumpy makes a little more noise as Jack steps in, struggling a bit in Ronan's arms. She's clearly not quite used to this new, smaller person. She calms in moments though when Jack proves to be gentle, smoothing over the feathers of her side as she cocks her head and blinks at him, assessing.

"The eggs these guys pop out are unfertilized," Ronan replies, really hoping he won't have to go into too much detail about what all that means. He's not about to dance around it thought, not when Jack's obviously a damn smart kid. "So no chicks, just yolks. They make a lot more than we can eat so sometimes we give the extras away. You want to take some back with you?"

Giving eggs to a five year old is definitely not the wisest decision, Ronan knows. Which is exactly why he's offering. If he gets his way, Jack will make a complete mess either of the Pig or his bedroom back in the home.

He'll just have to make sure Jack doesn't get in trouble for it.

"And they'll eat almost anything. Seeds, vegetables, grain. Bugs." His lips twitch into a grin then as he adds in a lower voice, "Chicken."

[37hours]

Ronan uses some big words again, like unfertilized. I know what fertilizer is because I learned it from the gardener who helps water and cut the grass and bushes at the Home. He used fertilizer one time, he says most of the time you only use it in spring because that's when things just start to grow, but he needed to use it one time in the fall because we didn't get lots of rain this year. So I think fertilizer is something that helps things grow, but I didn't know that you could use it on not plants.

So maybe if you don't use fertilizer for eggs then no chicks grow and then it can just be food. I think that makes sense because if not then people have to guess if eggs have chicks in them or not and that's really sad if you guess wrong. I want to ask Ronan more and tell him yes I want some eggs but then he tells me about what the chickens eat! That's important because I want to know how to feed them and make them happy.

But Ronan says something that sounds really crazy!

"Chickens eat... chicken?" I ask. My eyes are so big right now because that doesn't sound okay! "Are they going to eat each other? That's scary! I don't want them to eat each other, they should all be friends and they can help each other with their eggs."

[thedreamthief]

Jack's reaction is priceless, his eyes going huge and round and Ronan laughs a little as he reaches out to give Jack's arm a light, reassuring squeeze.

"Not like that," he says, feeling a slight pang of guilt. Jack's a sweet kid, innocent and warm in that way so like Matthew. "It's chopped up first. Like the chicken you buy at the store, the stuff your mom makes for dinner. That kind of chicken. They won't eat each other, I promise."

He turns his head then to smile at Grumpy who only blinks her beady little eyes at him as he lightly brushes a finger along the top of her head. "They're not always nice to each other though. Have you ever heard the term 'pecking order?' It comes from these guys. They peck and bully each other, especially the smallest, quietest one. In this group, that's Grumpy here. Sometimes I have to separate her from the others so they don't hurt her."

He gives a quiet sort of smirk then. "Chickens are assholes sometimes."

[37hours]

I rub at my eyes a little bit because it's really weird stuff to think about and makes my head feel weird. Even if the chicken isn't eating the other chickens it lives with, it's still kind of weird that chicken eats chicken. Like cows eat grass and horses eat carrots. I didn't know that some stuff eats the same stuff that it is.

"I never heard pecking order before... but that makes me sad," I tell Ronan. I walk over to Grumpy and pet her really carefully, I think I want to give her the most love because the other chickens are mean. "I wish we could teach the chickens to be nice to eat other, things are a lot better when we're all nice. But sometimes, sometimes there are kids at the Home that make fun of me too. I'm smaller than the other kids who are five, and, and they say that boys shouldn't have long hair."

I make an angry face. "They're wrong, boys can have long hair if they want." I sigh then I look up at Ronan. "Why do chickens eat chickens if they have the other stuff? Are there other things that eat the things that they are? Do people ever eat people?"

[thedreamthief]

Grumpy turns her little when Jack runs a careful hand down her back and Ronan adjusts his hold on her a little when she starts to squirm just a little, though she seems to get pretty comfortable after another minute. His smile falters a bit when Jack expresses concern over the pecking order, but he keeps quiet, not speaking until it seems like Jack's about to panic a little.

"Chickens are omnivores," Ronan tries to explain. "Which means they eat both meats and veggies, but really they'll eat just about anything you put in front of them. Cows and goats are herbivores, so the only eat vegetables and grains and things like that. Pigs are omnivores too, just like chickens and, you guessed, it they can eat pig. Technically, people can eat people," Ronan adds, a bit worried about how much detail he should get into here as he doesn't exactly want to give the kid nightmares. He screws his nose up a bit in a look of distaste before adding, "But I wouldn't recommend it."

He shuffles Grumpy in his arm again then before softening his tone a bit as he reaches up to lightly rest his hand on Jack's shoulder.

"But you're right. Boys can have long hair. Hell, they can have any kind of hair they'd like." He considers a moment, eyes narrowing. "Those don't beat up on you, do they?"

[37hours]

These are big words, but they're all a little bit the same so that will make them easier to remember. Omnivore. Herbivore. I guess herbs are kind of like vegetables, Grandma uses herbs when she cooks food and they're always plants and stuff. So maybe that's how I can remember herbivore. I don't know what vore means but I guess it's like when you're something that eats. That way herbivore's like vegetable eater.

Words are weird. Sometimes even if you have other words that have the right meaning, there's still another word to show that same meaning. I don't know why but I still want to know all of the words that I can.

"I never want to eat people. I like eating meat but sometimes I feel bad about that too because like... if I know animals that make meat and they're really nice then I feel bad to eat them. Like it's gonna be different to eat chicken after knowing Grumpy," I tell Ronan and I still pet Grumpy some more, I think she needs all the love. "But eating people is extra gross, I don't want to eat what I am."

I look up when Ronan's hand is on my shoulder. "No, um, no boys are beating me up," I tell him. I know what beating up is like because Old Nick used to do that to Ma, I don't have anything like that in the Home. "Sometimes they chase me with scissors but that's all, I don't think they actually will cut my hair, they'd get in big trouble."