[4/23] Post-group therapy

[thedreamthief]

It isn't all that late by the time Ronan makes it back to Hywel. The lights are still on, two glowing squares facing the street as Ronan unlocks the door and lets himself in. Hercules is right at the gate into the barn area, croaking happily as Ronan scratches the top of his head and under he ruff of his chin as he steps in to check on the chickens.

He takes his time, sitting with them for awhile as they cluck around his feet, snatching up the tidbits of seeds and corn he scatters for them. Cinnamon blinks and chews at him from her stall and Ronan enjoys the quiet for a moment, the peace of sitting with creatures he hasn't managed to disappoint.

It's quiet. Quiet in a way that doesn't carry the weight of the silence that's been hanging between him and Adam for a week. Still.

He doesn't know how long he stays there. Doesn't check.

But once the hens have returned their coop, he makes his way up the stairs.

It's quiet here too, but instantly more oppressive. Ronan shuts the door behind him with barely a sound and doesn't so much as glance toward the main living areas as he heads for his room. Adam could be there or he could be in his room studying. Either way, Ronan knows better than to call attention to himself.

Closing himself away, he shrugs out of his jacket and begins the tedious process of peeling himself out of his clothes with one working arm.

Comments

[incognoscibilis]

It is. Adam doesn't think Ronan truly understands what that means for Adam, what he also fears ruining if he isn't careful. Ronan's trust in him, however far it goes, is as scary as it is precious. Giving trust to Adam Parrish is like asking him not to be a monster, even when he fears it lurks inside him even now.

He lets Ronan sit back, eyes darting between his face and then the arm in its cast. Hopefully, by the time his bones are healed a little bit of Ronan will be too.

"I wanted to finish another chapter before I slept," he admits, still keeping close to Ronan.

[thedreamthief]

Ronan nods. There's some comfort in knowing what to expect, in knowing that despite this place and all the shit they've gone through, what they've lost and gained, he's still the same Adam. And Ronan still knows him.

His lips twitch in a faint smile and if there's a clench of disappointment low in his gut, he doesn't let it show.

Instead, he decides to take a chance and says, "You can finish it in here if you want. I was just gonna lie down, listen to some music." It isn't quite asking him to stay, but it's providing the option. Giving Adam a choice."

[incognoscibilis]

"There's more space in my room," Adam says and they both know he means his bed. One more chapter with Ronan's head in his lap, an arm cast across his legs and the dog a sentinel at their feet as if she's enough to keep the night horrors at bay. They can wake up shoved into a little corner with the hound dog sprawled all over the rest of the bed. It's only a little thing but for tonight, it's a start.

[thedreamthief]

The only thing bigger about Adam's room is his bed. Ronan nods, pushing up to his feet before nodding toward the door with a jerk of his head.

"Yours then," he says and reaches out with his one good arm, palm up.

They're not fixed, he knows. Not individually and not together, and maybe they never will be. But tonight, Ronan wants to stretch out on Adam's bed, feel him breathe while he reads his fucking boring text books, Copper snoring close by. It can be a start.

[incognoscibilis]

Adam takes Ronan's hand and squeezes it tight as he pulls himself up. He stops just short of a kiss, still unsure if this is the time for one. "Go ahead, I need to get my book." He offers Ronan a tiny smile as he walks to the couch to grab his book. "Copper can show you the way if you get lost.

Picking up his book, Adam doubts he'll actually finish reading any of it.

[thedreamthief]

"Hasn't been that long," Ronan remarks with a smirk, watching as Adam crosses the room to grab one of the many books scattered across the couch.

But Copper's already trotted up ahead of him and, when he steps in, he finds she's made a place for herself smack in the middle of Adam's bed. Smirking, her pushes her to one side, just far enough the he can lay down and waits for Adam to join him. She rests her head on his thigh once he's comfortable and Ronan settles his hand on his stomach. Closes his eyes.

He won't sleep. But not sleeping next to Adam is better than not sleeping anywhere else.